The Phrases given by A Dad That Rescued Me as a First-Time Dad

"I believe I was merely trying to survive for a year."

Ex- reality TV star Ryan Libbey thought he would to manage the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth quickly proved to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Serious health complications during the birth saw his partner Louise being hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into becoming her primary caregiver while also looking after their infant son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, each diaper… every walk. The job of mother and father," Ryan shared.

Following nearly a year he reached burnout. It was a talk with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward statement "You're not in a good spot. You require support. What can I do to support you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and regain his footing.

His situation is far from unique, but rarely discussed. Although the public is now better used to addressing the strain on mums and about postpartum depression, less is said about the struggles fathers face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to ask for help

Ryan thinks his challenges are linked to a broader reluctance to communicate amongst men, who often internalise damaging perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It is not a sign of failure to ask for help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he clarifies.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, says men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be requesting help" - particularly in front of a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental state is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the opportunity to take a pause - going on a short trip abroad, outside of the family home, to see things clearly.

He understood he had to make a change to focus on his and his partner's emotional states as well as the practical tasks of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his feelings as a dad, which he wishes his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son better understand the vocabulary of feelings and understand his decisions as a father.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen lacked stable male parenting. Despite having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, long-standing emotional pain resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "terrible decisions" when younger to modify how he was feeling, finding solace in substance use as a way out from the pain.

"You turn to things that aren't helpful," he explains. "They can short-term modify how you feel, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you feel swamped, speak to a friend, your other half or a therapist about your state of mind. It can help to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like the person you were before having a baby. This might be exercising, socialising or gaming.
• Look after the body - nutritious food, staying active and where possible, sleep, all contribute in how your mind is faring.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - listening to their experiences, the challenges, along with the joys, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Know that seeking help does not mean you've failed - looking after you is the optimal method you can care for your family.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally had difficulty processing the passing, having been out of touch with him for years.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead provide the stability and nurturing he lacked.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - processing the feelings safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men because they faced their struggles, changed how they express themselves, and learned to control themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, sometimes I believe my purpose is to teach and advise you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding an equal amount as you are in this journey."